rhesirch

so for all who do not know... i am working on a project with phame camarena entitled "personal motivations of 1st gen college students becoming phd's. ya kno i was hesitant to work with my brutha phame at first... i really loved working with amanda garrison... shes the phucking shyt man but that is a completely different story. anywhoo my first impression of phame was.. man this boi is a straight roller.. the director of honors?? but since then ive def warmed up to him. he is totally a cool individual and i am grateful for him for meeting on my way.

enough about my mentor.. on to the research. like i said i am looking for the personal motivations of first generation college students becoming phds.. the cool thing is that we wont really be looking for the personal motivations of first gen college students instead we will be simply asking them for their personal motivations. im pretty JAZZED for this project to get rolling cuz im a first gen student on the road to a phd and ive been trying to identify my personal motivation for pursuing academia. you see.. to mee im making one of the biggest decisions in my life and im finding it difficult to commit... its not that i do not want to or something like that but i just do not want to make the wrong decision. i feel like everything in my life shatters at some point and im nervous to make a decision that leads to a shards.. ya feel me?? idk im losing my train of thought...

oh yes... my project! so i am definitely excited to learn more about this subject as well as the qualitative research process.. if i become a researcher... which is fucking weird that i jus said that... i would rather be qualitative than quantitative. i feel like everyone enjoys qualitative over quantitative.. idk tho..

so how are you today? ive missed you brutha/sista. i hope that you are doing swell.. or at least swell enough to smile. you know its funny cuz i have always felt like such an angry person but no matter how pissed i get... i take that back.. when i feel upset sometimes all i need is a smile from someone to put life in perspective... but not jus any average smile.. one of those smiles that speaks to the soul.. those soul to soul smiles are the ones that make me realize how alive i really am.. ya know? idk im jus blabbing. lets jus agree smiles are good!

even tho i did not talk about my rhesirch much... i hope you got something out of my post. go with it and roll wit the punches but watch out for them haymakers cuz theyll knock your ass out..