fesa.

Dear Felisa,

How are things man? I miss you so much its at sometimes nearly unbearable. this life thing is fucking crazy. open eyes and an open mind... its scary but at the same time beautiful once the veil is opened up. its wild because i miss you so much but at the same time i know your always here with me. i feel your kisses in the warmth of the sun and your hugs in the wind. i love it man. i cant wait to see you again. i cant believe how this whole thing has unraveled for me. my Truth of the whole situation. you have completely opened my eyes to so much. but of course i know that it was not completely you... it is unbelievable how the universe works.  i am so grateful to have the life that i was given man. no matter the troubles trials obstacles whatever i know that this is the story of bruce anthony barnes jr. i could have never fathomed the beauties of the world or the value of wisdom and life lessons without you felisa. you are such a fucking gem man. you were such a huge tool in the construction of who i am and i owe so much to you man. i love you so much. you completely taught me what love is. and i would have never understood this crazy gorgeous wild extravagant world if you were never by my side. i could express the amount of gratitude i have to have been able to call you my sister man. you were such an incredible person but you are an even better guardian angel man. patience man. you told me. im trying to grasp it. love trust forgiveness... not giving a fuck and going with the flow of your feelings.. you had such a grip on these things and i realize now how you have pushed these on me but i was always so stubborn... you have given so much to me and there is no way i can repay you unless i just stand up and change. you are the greatest person i have ever met and i love you so much felisa. dont ever stop pushing me to be my best. ever since we were little you told me i was the best.. you were always there for me cheering on your little brother and at the time i found it so embarrassing but now i would pay anything to hear those cheers again. relationships love trust forgiveness... its fucking crazy how much love poured out of you. no matter how bad someone would hurt you.. you never stopped loving them and were always the first to forgive and.or apologize.. dad hurt you the worse out of all of us but that never stopped you.. all those years that christa and i pushed him away.. you always pulled him in and comforted him.. he had no one except you felisa... but i promise you that he has rashonda christa and me now and forever. thank you for revealing how beautiful of a person our dad is even though ever thing he has done and whatnot he still is our dad and he has much to teach us. gosh felisa. you are absolutely amazing. you have touched ever single persons life whether they realize it our not. thank you for all the lessons that you taught me and are continuing to teach me. and most of all thank you for opening my eyes to the truth the and the light. you truly helped make me who i am. i love you so much.

mahal kita,

your brother